Building a Relationship

Relationship. What do you think about when you hear the word relationship? Good things? Bad Things? 

We all are in relationships everyday. Most of us do not realize this but our entire life is built around relationships in some form or another. Some relationships are short and fleeting such as being at the grocery store and interacting with the store clerk. This is a quick type of relationship and is one of the least intimate. Then there are longer-term types of relationships such as with your mechanic or tax accountant. These relationships are more intimate than the store clerk type of relationship. The relationships with people such as your mechanic and tax accountant are built over time and include things such as trust, and accountability, responsibility, and mutual respect. These relationships take more time and need the above things in order for a relationship to develop. Now these types of relationships go deeper than the store clerk, therefore are more intimate in nature, but generally do not include deep personal information. It is the next type of relationships that generally include deeper personal information, however, this type of relationship also requires a deeper sense of trust, and accountability, responsibility, and mutual respect and have the deepest level of intimacy. These types of relationships are generally those that include close friends, family, and intimate partners and have the deepest level of trust, accountability, responsibility, and mutual respect. These relationships are the most important to us and they can take the longest to develop and many times are the most painful and hurtful, yet these types of relationships are the most important to us for our survival. Unfortunately, many of us have not experienced the relationships above in healthy and positive ways. For many of us, we have only experienced the pain and hurt that can come with the deeper relationships. From painful breakups to family issues and losses, we stay in these relationships and repeat our past because these relationships are “programmed” into us, even if the “program” is abusive, unhealthy, and is not working for us. This is where the horse comes in.

The horse you say? How? We are just like horses in the fact we are“herd” animals. And yes, we are animals. Horses’ survival depends on being in a herd. Without a herd, horses are “lost” and can have many health issues both mentally and physically including death. Their survival is based on being in relationships with the other horses that make up the herd. Now, the herd is not always “peachy and rainbow and butterflies” but each herd member learns how to be in the herd in ways that not only benefit the individual, but benefit the entire herd as well. It is through learning howto be in the herd, (which is what growth is) and what each individual’s role is within the herd that relationships are developed and grown. And this is where the horse comes into play. It is through working with horses that humans can experience what it is like to be in a relationship where trust, accountability, responsibility, and mutual respect are not only expected but are taught and experienced. Horses instinctually they need to be in a herd and learn as they grow up how to be in a herd and what their place or role in the herd is. This is natural to a horse and we, as humans, can learn from the horse’s natural abilities what it is like to be in healthy, growing relationships. Imagine a relationship where you could experience and actually learn what it feels like to be in a relationship where you are trusted, held accountable, know what your responsibilities are, and you are respected for who you are not for what you should be. These are all things that can be experienced when working and being with horses. It is an amazing thing to experience and the lessons learned and the experiences that are experienced can last a lifetime, and to me this is the true power of the horse. I know about these experiences and the things I talk about because I have experienced them with horses and without the things I learned from the horses, I know, for a fact, that I would not be here today. I also know these things because I now teach the horse’s lessons and experiences about relationships to others through equine-assisted therapies and life coaching sessions. To me, being able to share these amazing animal’s abilities to help humans learn and heal, is the ultimate power of the horse.

Namaste my horse.

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