What I want I can’t have

So I have been driving since Friday evening with my husband on our way to Florida. It has been a long drive to say the least and the biggest thing that I have been struggling with is realizing what I want I can’t have.

I know having restaurants closed or offering take out or having parks and attractions closed is a necessary thing to help with the pandemic and yet I find myself looking at billboards as the miles pass and thinking I’m hungry for this or that or whatever is on the billboard. My husband and I do not eat out much when we are on the road as we have a fully functioning “super tiny house” set up in our truck and yet now that I know our usual stops are not available, I find myself longing for what I can’t have. Every day I am reminded that what I want I can’t have and all I can think of is when you are going to have surgery and they tell you can’t have anything to eat or drink 12 or 8 hours before your surgery. And even though you may have just eaten your favorite meal, food or drink, suddenly when the “clock starts ticking” all you can think about is eating this food or having that to drink. And slowly you start to go crazy because every TV or radio commercial seems to have something to do with food and drink. And no matter what you do to keep yourself occupied and not think about what you want but can’t have, you slowly lose the battle. And the only thing on your mind is the food and drink you want but can’t have. Now with surgery, you know when the endpoint will be. Granted it may be a couple of days before you can return to your normal eating and drinking but you DO know the when that time will be. 

And that is where the problem is now. You see, none of us know when this pandemic will be over and when it is over, what will the “new life” look like? Will restaurants open again for seated dining or will there be  “new” types of restaurants that will only do pick-up and delivery? Will parks and attractions be opened back up to the public and will the public want to go to them again? And so many more unanswerable questions right now.  And because we do not know when this pandemic will be over, we are all slowly going crazy realizing that we are wanting what we can’t have. And this is the hardest part of our lives now. 

Namaste, my friends.

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