We have all done it. Some more than others but at some point in our lives we have assumed one thing or another. And that can be dangerous for all involved. Now this is not saying that assuming things from time to time is problematic however, when one basis his/her life on assumptions rather than facts, the only real thing that can come out of this way of living and thinking is trouble, stress, disappointment, and a host of other issues.
In reality, what is assuming? To me, it is only a fancy way of saying “you are guessing” at something rather thank finding or knowing the facts. This means you do not have any or all of the actual facts and information about a particular situation and you have just “filled in the blanks” with information from your past experiences. Now at times this can be time saving and beneficial to just “fill in the blanks” however I believe that even in those types of situations, one should slow down long enough to check the facts and not just go and “do” what ever it is they are going to do or say. This could include things such as making judgments about other people, certain directions or instructions are valid as is, the way a person acted at one time is the way he/she will always act, and the list goes on and on.
Life is stressful enough just as it is. So why would some one want to do something that could potentially add MORE stress to his/her life? With all the technology that has people disconnectedly connected and going at about Mach 9 on a daily basis, why assume something which could generally ADDS more stress to life rather than reduce the stress? Good question.
Here are my thoughts on that question as I at one time was guilty of assuming things in my life on a daily basis. As I have grown and learned, I have thrown the word “assume” and all other forms of the word right out the window. Now I just say “guess” because in essences that is all I am really doing; guessing. I have taken away the ostentatiousness of the word away and have become more humble in my way of communicating with people. And that there is what I believe is the key to good communication. Not assuming and staying humble. Unfortunately, because of all the technology, people are losing the ability to actually communicate effectively. And NO texting is NOT a form of communication! It was never intended to replace face-to-face communication. Face to face communication includes body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and choice of words and inflections with those words. With non face-to-face types of communications, both the sender and receiver miss out on majority of what is included in good communication. It has been stated that only 7% of communication is through verbal communication. In other words, by talking. That means 93% of communication is NOT with words, which leaves things like body language, eye contact, and tone of voice as the majority of what makes up communication. See a problem here with technology such as texting and emailing? And I don’t care if you use lots of emoticons and capital letters, there is a huge chance that the receiver will NOT receive the message clearly. And now suddenly the sender and receiver find themselves in a disagreement, argument, or a fight over something that was not clearly sent or received because some very key “ingredients” in the communication were missing. Now both parties have increased their stress levels to ridiculous levels and possibly even ended relationships, for what? That I am not sure of. And so we all continue to “chase our tails” around by assuming things until something or someone changes our path. So until we either make a conscious choice to stop assuming or life makes that change for us, life will continue to be full of judgments, arguments, and stress. I’m glad I made the choice and change and quit using the word “assume.” Because in my opinion, always using the word “assume” does “make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me’” and that is NOT worth the stress.
Namaste, my friend.